Wednesday, 11 February 2015


A simple word loaded with meaning.  How courageous we think we are until our true strength is tested in a weak moment of life's circumstances.  I knew this word would be a challenge yet I also knew at my heart, I was courageous.  Not in my own strength but in who I knew I was created to be through Christ and his love and his strength at work in me through the power of his Holy Spirit.  The love of a Father...

Phew... sometimes I need that reminder.  That I am not alone, I am not without purpose and I am not a mistake.  I love that God constantly reminds me of those things in his plans for my life and I love that when I doubt what I am doing and where I am that he confirms it through others.  He encourages me through the words of others who have no idea how much that word is needed at that very point in time.  God's timing hey!   It's perfect :)

It's funny how I see myself rushing in to get my life in order, to gain some sort of purpose or reason why I am where I am and when I stop for just even a moment, I see God's plans slowly, so slowly and gently being worked out in my life.  He hasn't forgotten what he promised me, I have.  He hasn't forgotten I am useful, I have.  He hasn't forgotten I need hope, I have.  He hasn't forgotten anything, I have...

I am learning to slow down, to do what is needed one day at a time.  To stop rushing and to  focus on the task at hand.  To not panic because I don't have a job or a plan in place because God has.  To keep seeking him and he will lead me where he wants me and where he needs me!  Closed doors are closed doors for a reason.  Another one will open, in time.  I need rest, I need healing.  Last year sucked in so many ways and the hurt is still as raw and real as if it was yesterday.  I learnt a lesson from a friend the other day who suffered a great loss recently.  His goal is to be independent and strong, one day at a time.  To grieve when he needs to grieve and that's OK.  To  laugh when he needs to laugh and that is ok too!  He is in no rush to be further ahead than where he needs to be one day at a time.  He kept saying the words over to me, 'independent and strong' as if he knew I needed to hear them.  He could see something I couldn't.  He doesn't know the impact they had on me but one day if it's right I will tell him.

It takes courage to be independent and strong.  It takes courage to know you're not alone and to wait for God's plan to be set about in your life.  I am happy where I am and I know it's home for me.  I am also scared... but I am not disabled by my fear.  I still have much to let go of but I have much to take hold of as well.  To embrace and let it fill my heart with a new joy, a new peace and new beginnings.

God bless...   J xx

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